Book Review: Boyhood and Beyond

posted in: Books, mothering, parenting | 0

The day this post goes live will be my first son’s due date.  As most of you Moms know out there in blogland – due dates rarely mean anything.  I think it is a ploy for women to get all worked up and having something to plan for – then it comes and goes with little fanfare.  But, we shall see.

As soon as I found out we we were having a boy, I wanted to start praying specifically for him to be a man after God’s own heart.  I already was praying for his daddy that he would continue to press in and love Jesus – and that is what I want our son to model as well.

The first book I was recommended has been a wonderful tool for me to use to know things to pray for Baby about: Boyhood and Beyond by Bob Schults.  This is actually a book written for boys, probably between the age of 10-12.  And that means it was great for this pregnant mom and her attention span.  Short chapters, not difficult theology, and very practical.

Covering such topics as: wisdom, letter writing, loving your sister, obedience, serving, working hard, preparing for a wife and children and a myriad of other topics, Bob writes courageously for young boys but not treating them as kids – treating them as young men.

I want to train my son early to be man after God’s own heart.  Yes, there is plenty of time to have fun, play games, etc – but I want to raise him to be a man.  Teach him the characteristics of what a man should be: gentle, kind, humble, meek, protector, provider, and leader – whether it is in the classroom, at home, or on the baseball field.

“God creates boy to become men.” – pg 40

I didn’t mark a lot in this book, because I will probably be praying it again for him and then giving it to Baby when he is old enough to read it and learn from its wisdom. 

What do you or how are you praying for your children?

How Many Shades?

posted in: Books, Uncategorized, Women | 4

Bandwagons.  I don’t like them – ask my husband.  So, I haven’t read any of the Twilight, Harry Potter, or Hunger Games series.  So, when a friend asked me to write a blog post about 50 Shades of Grey, I said, “sure!”.   I haven’t read Mary Kassian’s thoughts on this yet – but will get to it after I write my own thoughts.

I didn’t even know what I was looking for in the store, but I found it right away in my local Target store.  I was truly appalled at the few bits that I read while I leaned against the store counter.  I then made my way to the nearest Barnes and Noble to gather the trilogy in my hands and write this post.

I was really thinking about putting in some of those snippets but I will refrain – if I don’t want women to be reading this book, I don’t need to allow you to read it on this blog.  And, I really don’t need to read those snippets again.

Here is some of the back of the book:

“When the couple embarks on a daring passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian Grey’s secrets and explores her own dark desires.”

Classification: Erotic Romance – Mature Audience

The tag line at the bottom: “Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.”  Really…

Obsess you: There should only be one obsession in you life if you are a believer: Christ.

Possess you: The Bible I read already declares us to be possessions of Someone: Christ.  He bought us with His own blood and sanctifies us.  Women: this book will not aid your sanctification process.

Stay with you Forever: That is the unfortunate part.  I can’t erase what I read in this book, I can’t go back to before I read it.  It will stay with me forever.  It is damaging.  Don’t do it.

In this book these is sex, reversed gender roles, obsession, unbiblical habits that are brought out on every page, envy, anger, lust, need I go on?

So…this one is pretty easy.  Don’t read it.  I don’t know what good could come out of it.  Since I’ve been married, what I put in my mind has changed.  Before I could watch chick flicks or read Sweet Valley High (in high school) and Christian romance novels.  But, honestly, now I can’t. I love my husband too much.  I don’t want to bring any outside thoughts into our bedroom.  I trust him too much to do that to him.  He should be the one I fanticize about – not anyone in a book or on a TV screen.  (Note: some friends might know that I loved the Mentalist – mainly because of Simon Baker – I don’t watch the show anymore for this very reason.)

How do you guard your mind and thoughts and engage the culture at the same time?  What do you do with non-Christian books that invade culture?  Well, whether its with Sci-Fi, teen romance that is all the rage – really, adult women falling in love with vampires – how do you keep your thoughts pure?

I seldom just say NO to cultural phenomenons.  I want to judge for myself.  And with some reads or movies I think you can engage them with a biblical worldview and your watching of it will not do any harm.  But, there are some that won’t do any good.

One song from the early 90s I often sing (just because its stuck in my head) is “Free your mind, and the rest will follow.”  I know that song doesn’t have really much to do with what we are talking about today – but the problem remains.  If we “free our mind” from God’s laws and mandates that are made for our good – then pretty  soon the rest will follow: our heart and then our actions.

Here is some of the best of what the Bible has to say about this:

Proverbs 4:23-27: “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.  Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you.  Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.  Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure.  Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil.”

Ladies: keep your eyes, feet, mind, and bodies pure.  50 Shades will not enable you to do that.

Book Review: Loving the Little Years

posted in: Books, mothering | 2

Raves: that is all I have ever heard about this book.  And in some ways, I think those are correct.

And in some ways, I think those raves fail.

Where this book is strong is in its every day ideas for parenting of multiple small children.  Jankovic’s experiences she shares with her readers bring them many practical steps for raising children that are great with their siblings.  I would love to pick this book up when I’m facing difficult challenges when parenting goes awry.  She offers great biblical advice for mothers who are in need of direction of how to set their children on the right path.  As some of my friends have said, you will want to read this at least once a year. 

Another aspect of this book that I love is short chapters. She definitely knows and identifies with her main audience here: mothers who don’t have a lot of time to themselves.  As most mothers will testify to – quiet time is scarce: sometimes stuck between nap times or when you are taking a shower, or drying your hair (especially on those days when you actually get a shower).  These chapters are short and practical and funny and down-to-earth. You will want to read it time and time again. 

Here is where this book fails for me:

1.  Although she is most definitely a Christian and writes from a biblical perspective, a gospel perspective, there are maybe a handful of Scripture references in the book.  With all of her references to the gospel, to obedience, to the Law – there are many opportunities for her to direct her readers to Scripture, and the sufficiency of it for our parenting.  Instead, we mostly just have her experience, which is great – but I want to base my parenting on the Word and see what of the Bible I can bring to Baby’s life and mind – and point him to the source.  Also, if I want to share this book with other parents, or a neighborhood small group of moms (made up of Christians and non-Christians) they see good kids are the outcome, but not necessasrily gospel-centered children who see Christ in their parent’s parenting.

2.  There are very few mentions of how the Dad plays a role in the parenting.  If you take this book and Gospel-Powered Parenting and combine them – then you would have one that reaches both parents because it would speak to the joint effort of parenting with the spiritual leading of the Dad as the head of the home.   One may be too Dad-based and one (this one) may not have enough Dad in it.  I know she is writing to moms who are “stuck” in the house all day with children (and by stuck I’m not being sarcastic or rude, God allows our role to be in the home and we have the ministry of running our home and raising our children).  But, I do believe Dads need to have more of a hand in the parenting that happens in the house.  Even though he may be gone all day, I want my husband to be an integral part on our baby’s life and heart. 

All that being said, here are some of my favorite quotes:

“Christian childrearing is a pastoral pursuit, not an organizational challenge.” – pg 50

“It is not about ignoring the sin, it is about renewing the fellowship.” – pg 76

“When you have disciplined, there should be a restoration of fellowship.” – pg 86

I know, who am I to talk, I’m not a “real” parent yet – I’m not having to make disciplining decisions on the spot and dealing with 3 children tugging at my skirt and flinging flour all over the kitchen or one who has a diaper blowout.  But, I hope to apply some of these great tips that she has offered and hopefully employ my husband’s help and his kindness and grace tied with the hope of the Word of God.

Book Review: Treasuring God in Our Traditions (Noel Piper)

posted in: Books | 1

Growing up I can’t think of a single tradition we had as a family.  Kind sad – but that doesn’t mean I can’t start any in our new family, especially as we welcome baby boy into the world in a few short months.

Noel Piper has written a tremendous book on why do you have traditions?  I mean why do you watch the Rose Bowl Parade every New Years?  Why do you go to grandma’s house for Easter lunch every year?  What makes something a tradition?  How do you start new ones?

Through many personal stories and Scriptural citations, Mrs. Piper exhorts families to share in traditions together that embrace the Savior and exalt Him to a world that doesn’t know Him.  As parents, we have a huge burden and responsibility (and joy) to raise our children in the ways of Jesus – to help them come to know Christ and see Him for who He is.  How do your traditions/holidays/birthdays, etc explain and display Christ to them and neighbors and other family members?

Honestly, I felt like the best part of the book was the one at the end about worship services and little children.  Her and her pastor husband, John, gave great advice and helpful hints for having young children in corporate worship services.  This is such an important issue in many churches.  And I think every parent/couple must know what will happen come Sunday morning. 

My one regret with this book is that I didn’t read it with my husband.  A wife shouldn’t really establish traditions by herself and this book would have been great, or at least to discuss with my husband, so we can think and plan traditions for our family.  I’m sure he is open for discussion!

“We are always teaching our children, whether we mean to or not.” (pg 34)

“Children need teaching from the Bible so they can grow into men and women of God.  That’s what we long for on their behalf and what God offers through His Word.” (pg 44)

“Our celebrations work good in our own lives and in other people whose lives touch ours, by kindling our love fo God, by increasing our knowledge of Him, and by helping us remember who God is and how He works.” (pg 64)

Book Review: Note To Self (Joe Thorn)

posted in: Books | 0

“Like the Israel of old, you tend to forget the most basic things.  Important thigns.  You need constant reminders, and what you have been gleaning from others is not enough.  You need to find ways to remind yourself about the things that matter, because when you aren’t intentionally setting the truth before yourself you forget.” (pg 135)

If you have ever heard the term “preach the gospel to yourself!”, made popular by people like Lloyd-Jones, Jerry Bridges, and CJ Mahaney – here is a how-to book.  I love Joe’s simple truths, yet ones that we need to hear every day.

He has given us 48 “sermons” that we can preach to ourselves.  They each take about 3 minutes to read – so its a perfect addition to your daily quiet time. 

Be compelled to start taking the Word that you are reading and putting it into practice in your daily life: life with children, life with your husband, life in the workplace or in your home community group.  Apply it to the areas of your personal life where you are struggling, apply it to the areas of life where you are winning!

God’s Word is applicable to every part of your life – not just the Sunday morning corporate worship time.  After finishing Joe’s book – write your own Note To Self book (this is what I’m doing for a friend as a gift).  Use can use personal verses that mean a lot to you and write them down, stick it in your purse or in your car – so you can read it often.

“God’s face shines on you when you are learning – experientially – His Word.  This means His favor and blessing are upon you, and that you have sweet communion with Him through Scripture, but only when you receive it for what it is; God’s life-giving Word meant to be believer, received, and obeyed – not only dissected.” (pg 130)

Here are just some of the “mini-sermons” that I liked from Joe:

“Thankfulness is the joyful and humble response of a heart that has been transformed by grace.” (pg 43)

“Small Jesus does not inspire awe, command respect, lead to worship, or compel us to talk of him (much less suffer for him).  And small Jesus is too little to arrest the attention of the world.” (pg 48)

“You have to make the most, not just of the day as a whole, but of all the parts that make up the day.” (pg 90) – This is helping me be like some other women I know who are industrious and not wasters of time.  I don’t do this perfectly, but God is working grace in me in this area.  Thankful.

“Stop thinking so small when it comes to teh church gathering for worship.  It is for God’s pleasure, your good, and the health of your church.  Prepare for such a meeting with God today, and worship out loud with your brothers and sisters.” (pg 116)

“You should be seeking God for wisdom and strength in the midst of your calling, whether that is in the home, at the office, or in the garage.” (pg 118)

 

Book 11 of 52: Thriving at College (Alex Chediak)

posted in: Uncategorized | 2

Never judge a book by its by-line.  That’s what I’ve learned.

Dr. Alex Chediak, author and professor at California Baptist University, has written a theological and practical book guiding students to live wisely and biblically during their college years.  This book covers topics like study habits, interpersonal relationship, familial relationships, credit cards, scheduling, grades, and even brown-nosing the favorite professor to improve your grade (or wait, how not to do that).

The introduction and first “common mistake” lays the foundation for everything else.  Chediak introduces students to a term that is the bedrock for everything else they will do at college: worldview.  This is the most important thing a student can take with him when he enters his first dorm
room or first elective class.  Chediak emphasizes how important a biblical worldview is to have: because there will be many opposing views that appear – even at a Christian college.

Alex takes this base and then hits on quite possibly every topic that a college student could ask when entering or maneuvering through their college years.  I like the “real-life” questions that he has brought in from current students so he can put feet to his advice.  Chediak also shares examples from his own time in college, or his wife’s experience during her college years.  He also has discussion questions at the end of each chapter, making this a great book to use a small group (maybe high school seniors’ summer Bible study?).   He lays a foundation for fighting against the culture around students that say its ok not to grow up (mooch off their parents, don’t work during college, move back home when you graduate, pile up
credit card debt, be weak and rely on your parents to fight your battles).

Chediak definitely aims at a particular target audience: the Christian high schooler poised to attend college (probably away from home).  He hits this target.  This book will be valuable to them.

Here are some of my favorite quotes:

“Worldview & Character -> Attitudes & Behaviors -> Habits & Destiny” – pg xxxii

“Intentionality involves taking the time to examine our values so that our relational lives more accurately mirror our deepest priorities.” – pg 63

“Never date someone who doesn’t share your desires to live for God’s glory.” – pg 95 (this is different than just dating a Christian.)

“God’s plan is for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church – in an intentional, sacrificial, initiating fashion.  God’s plan is for wives to nurture and affirm the loving leadership of their husbands, complementing and completing them, so that together they stand far stronger than either of them could separately.” – pg 107 (never too early to teach biblical gender roles!)

Book 6 of 52: God is Great (Toddler Storybook Bible): Larsen

posted in: Bible, Books | 1

Crossway continues to nail theology and produce Gospel-centered resources for the church and families.  I LOVE this publishing company!

Now: on to the book at hand:

Most faithful readers of this blog know that I love the Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones.  This Bible for children is a Jesus-pointed, engaging read for families and children to read together.  Every story points the reader to Jesus, the Hero of the Bible.

Carolyn Larsen has written a Bible very similar to Lloyd-Jones for toddlers.  What a great gift for new parents, or for a child’s 2nd birthday.  What better way to start them out on a journey toward Jesus then to give them this Bible with beautiful illustrations and theology.

Things I love about Larsen’s God is Great:

1.  Succinct.  There are only 17 Bible stories in this toddler Bible.  For toddlers, this is pretty good.  It is digestible.  It is repeatable.  It is simple.

2.  Color.  Toddlers love bright colors.  It helps the pages comes alive!  Caron Turk does a splendid job of using her God-given talents on this project.

3.  Theology.  Larsen bee-lines to GOD in each story.  This Bible is not about how to make your child a better child, neighbor, sister, or brother, son, or daughter.  This Bible takes them where they need to be headed: to GOD.  This Bible, in child-terms, teaches: the eternality of God, God’s righteousness, His goodness, His Sovereignty, His guidance, His truth, His power, etc. Your children need to know these truths.  This is a resource that can help you teach it!

Do you want more resources as parents:

1.  Jesus Storybook Bible – linked above

2.  Catechisms for Young Children

3.  Leading Little Ones to God – Schoolland

And some I have found fabulous for parents:

1.  ApParent Privilege – Steve Wright/Chris Graves

2.  Big Truths for Young Hearts – Bruce Ware

3.  Instructing a Child’s Heart – Tripp

New Year’s Much & Link Love (January 3)

Happy New Year!  When do you get tired of hearing that?  I usually have to wait until after my birthday, which is tomorrow.  New Years and birthdays, both great.  I used to dislike having a birthday so close to Christmas (school was out so I never got to celebrate it in school), but now I love it, because not only am I starting a new calendar year, but also a new birth year. 

1.  I had one of the best new years ever!  A friend from seminary came over to Raleigh: we cooked dinner, hung out a cool place in Cary, went to the NCMA, and watched movies.  It was low-key and wonderful.

2.  I already went away from on of my 2011 goals.  I ran in a 5k on Saturday and unfortunately left my cell phone at home so I had no interval timer.  I finished this multi-terrain, ice/mud, hills, loops race about the same time I finished my first one.  So, I wasn’t happy.  But, I did it.  And I had friends cheering me on and running with me!

3.  This is going to be a tough week and a good week.  Tough week with many things going on a work and writing kicked into high gear.  Good week because I get to have dinner on Thursday night with some of the most amazing RDU friends a girl can have, both new and old, and I’ll be missing some too because of vacations and babies.  God is good, isn’t He!

4.  Day one of clean eating went very well yesterday!  I am thankful for oranges and sweet potatoes that I don’t have to buy because of family!  Everytime I have craved nut butter or even milk or egg whites today I thought that God is sufficient for my every need and He is gracious too.  I have included seeds in this clean eating: fruits and veggies only while at home.  Seeds because I eat hummus and tahini is in it – ground sesame seeds.  I’m already thinking post-40 days to see how my diet will be altered, and see how my food-relationships/sin issues have been changed.  Thank you God for the cross!

5.  Bring on the playoffs!  Excited.  We’ll see how long my teams last.

6.  January… here we go: I’m doing the list here rather a whole new post. 

6.1: Birthday celebrating

6.2: Working out and logging milesd

6.3: Stemmerman Inn for my birthday!  Thank you Mom!

6.4: Charlotte to prepare for an upcoming women’s conference I am speaking at in March. 

6.5: Photog!

6.6: Writing and reading.  Sound familiar?

Link Love

1.  One of the coolest things I’ve heard from country music in a while – great on the gender issue too.  Go Zac Brown!

2.  With clean eating for 40 days, I’m making this soup.

3.  For those of you memorizing Philippians, John Piper reciting it may spur you on!

4.  Do you already need help keeping those resolutions?  These apply to any you have made.

5.  One of the smartest guys I know, and do ministry with, gives his list of best reads of 2010.  And he read a lot more than this. 

6.  Some great sermons and talks about keeping resolutions

7.  After taking off most of 2010, John Piper returns and tells all what God taught him and Noel from their leave of absence.  Good stuff.

8.  Also, if you have never memorized long passages of Scripture, here are some quality sermons from Andy Davis and John Piper to help you out and to see the benefit of it. 

9.  If you still need help picking which Bible reading plan to do for 2011, go here.  Justin lays a lot of them out for you.  I am doing Elevate’s B90X from last year, just multiplying it times 3 with some breather days in there. 

10.  Her photos are inspiring.

11. 

Recipe coming soon!

2010-2011

posted in: random | 1

Happy New Year!  As I write this I’ve alreayd run a 5k (with a horrible time, but I did it), had a leisure brunch with 2 good friends, and am now watching the Gators, who seem to have forgotten how to play football, at least for the first quarter.

As I look back on 2010, I look back on it with mixed emotions:

1.  Love the friendships that God has sustained and used to nourish me…some in Louisville, some new and old ones here in the RDU area, and of course some fb and faraway love and friendship from people who don’t see me every day.

2.  I love my job that God has provided for me.  At the end of 2009, I knew this new job was coming.  I was so excited about it.  Then, however, I don’t think I knew what a HUGE job it was.  I mean, you know its going to be great and hard and a God-sized task – but its not until you have been in it for 9 months today that you reaize that you are totally inadequate for it, you are thankful for others who are a part of the journey with you, and you leave every day somewhat overwhelmed with what God has asked you to do.  He is good.  His grace sustains.

3.  The part of my life that I am most disappointed in at the end of 2010 is the lack of healthy living in 2010.  I have gained 25 lbs as of this morning, and that can’t be the case.  So…here we are back at it again.

4.  2011 will be the year of pushing it hard.  In every area: writing (job, blogs, book), exercising (1000 miles, at least 3 races, yoga, kettlebell routines, reading (1 book a week, and I read slow), relationships (which are key to live and I want to keep pouring into those, photography (I love this and I want to get better at it), and cooking (see paranthetical statement with photography).  And this is all not knowing what 2011 will hold…I’m praying some big prayers.  We’ll see how the faithful God and my Provider will answer those.

So, what I do know…God is gracious, faithful, and willing to forgive.  He is the constant and stable in my life.  He will be the same on Jan 1, 2012 as He is today.

But, I can change.  God’s power and grace gives me reason to change.  The cross is my ability to change.  The gospel must impact every area of my life.

Who will be on January 2012 when I will almost be 35?

2011 Projections (Goals, not Resolutions)

posted in: Books | 3

However you feel about New Year’s Resolutions…we all have different ideas.  Some keep them, some utterly fail.  But, I have found that if I don’t have goal – life doesn’t seem to be lived intentionally.

So, these are my goals for 2011.  I think they are good, meaningful, and attainable.  I am also praying for some God-sized things this year.  What God-sized things are you praying for this year – things that when the world sees the answer: the only praise will go to God?

1.  40 Day Fast.  My friend, Lara, is doing a Daniel Fast.  I am not called to the same fast that she is, but I am supposed to change my life for the time of January 2 – for 40 days: here’s how:

* no syndicate television.  At least for 40 days.  This will not include football.  And to be honest, my Mom will record the shows I normally watch and I will watch them after 40 days, but how I can use this 40 day time period to focus on other things.  And I will be watching NFL during this time, because again, the NFL isn’t wrong and isn’t as consuming as hour long drama shows.

* no sweets at home

*only fruits and veggies when I eat at home (as means of getting clean foods into my system)

* up at 5am (this is fasting from sleep)

* computer off at 9pm (this is a fast too)

2.  Continue daily Bible reading (I haven’t decided what plan I will be using this year, but there are plenty to choose from)

3.  Blog strategically: 4 times a week at least (then special posts). 

4.  Read a book a week.

5.  Increase photog skills, ministry, and sell cards/stationary

6.  Finish my book.

7.  Lose more than I’ve gained in 2010

8.  Continue weekly Panera planning.

9.  3 races – all done in interval times (5k, 10m, half)

10.  Memorize Philippians

11.  Three yoga workouts a week: my body feels so much better whne I do this!)