I am NOT a hoarder!

posted in: Uncategorized | 5

I never want to be on that show.

Many of you know my love of all things ELR and Jess LC (MakeUnder My Life) – two fantastic blogs I read and love on a daily basis.  Jessica did a recent post (which she has done before) on getting rid of 50 things that you don’t need.  Cleaning out.  Living intentionally.  So…here are my 51 (I am an overachiever) things that I am taking to Goodwill today.

The only thing I am replacing it with is a lamp for beside my bed so I can read at night without getting up out of my warm coziness!

What do you have in your house that you don’t need or use anymore and how can you live your life with intentionality – even in your possessions?

For where your treasure is – there your heart will be also! – Jesus

Much & Link Love: January 10 edition

posted in: food, vegetarian, weather, winter | 0

1.  I hit something this morning, and it wasn’t my snooze alarm.

2.  I get to go to Wilmington mid-week for a 30 hour retreat from: books and computer.

3.  I had a tough week last week: but some people made it survivable!

4.  We are supposed to get snow again today. 

5.  Mocha buttercream is a fabulous way to start off a Monday morning. 

6.  I love meeting new friends.

7.  I’m already stinking at some of my January goals, but press on, right.  Never give up.

8.  I got Panera gift cards for my birthday: best gift!

9.  Bogarts butterscotch blondie: one of the best desserts in RDU!

10.  Love the prayers that God is answering.  Still praying for others.

11.  Sad.  College football ends tonight.  Will have to now wait until August for some more.  One of the saddest days of the year.

1.  How do you use your femininity?  For God’s glory or for your gain.  Convicting as always.  Truth is.

2.  Love this guy’s recipes.  I think I will stop by the store on my way home (from an early closing) to make this tonight to go with some pumpkin lentil soup from Happy Herbivore.  Perfect for a football game, writing, yoga, and warmth!

3.  Love her soothing photography and encouraging words.

4.  I already need this Girltalk post for the new year!

5.  Dr. Mohler definitely wouldn’t like this post by Abraham Piper.

Response to John Starke: Gender, Suffiency of Scripture, and Life on Life Ministry

posted in: Bible, Books, Women | 0

My friend, John Starke, who serves at The Gospel Coalition, wrote this article as a response to a book review of How I Changed My Mine about Women in Leadership.  I wholeheartedly agree with everything John said (as I knew I would), but wanted to elaborate on some of his points and maybe state things from a women’s POV who is in full-time ministry.

Disclaimer: Some may say that the “women in ministry” issue isn’t really timely.  I do not find that to be a valid argument.  Anytime we have failing marriages, dysfunctional churches, and church leadership teams that aren’t biblical, then it will be a valid topic for discussion.

Complementarianism is unsatisfying to egalitarians.”  The reason I think it is.  We, all of us, sin-nature, is to put man first.  Sin nature is man focused.  God is God-focused.  To use the Westminster Catechism: “The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.”  We like to focus on ourselves, our desires, our wants, making our name great (Genesis 11:4).  God’s authority and plan for our lives is that we make MUCH of Him (John 3:30).    Most of the arguments I’ve heard from egalitarians is man-focused.  “I’m gifted in preaching and can’t use it.  I can work just as well as my husband at _________.  Being a mom is not really a satisfying job.”  The underlying theme in all of these is “I”.  The gospel is not about “I”.  The gospel is about Christ.

‘Pastors should take these concerns seriously and labor to answer them appropriately.”  For complementarian pastors and ministry leaders, it is not enough to just say “Egalitarianism is wrong.  The Bible says so.”  You need to know what the Bible says about this and why/how these truths are applicable.  Some content that will decidedly be helpful to you as you learn more about this is: CBMW, Grudem and Piper’s Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, and Wayne Grudem’s Evangelical Feminism and Biblical Truth.  Theologians and pastors such as Dr. Grudem, Dr. Peter Schemm, John Piper, Randy Stinson, and Chris Cowan have all been highly instrumental in my thinking on this subject and I’m grateful for their ministry and knowledge of this subject and the Word of God.

The Bible must be our “go-to” starting point for this discussion.  If we start anywhere else, we’ve started at the wrong point.  And I my boss says, ‘If we are only 1% off now, ten years down the road, that 1% has turned into 40%”.  We don’t want to be 40% off on this subject.  It is too crucial to the understanding of the gospel to a lost and dying world that needs Christ.

So, we take our situations (existential) and we see what the Bible has to say to them.  If I have the ability to speak and write, then what guidelines does the Bible give me in how I can use those gifts.  Am I a Mom?  Then what does the Bible say about how I’m to respond to and respect my husband and how I’m supposed to nurture my children and order my home?  What does the Bible say is important in these roles?

We should conform our worldview and feelings around the Word of God – the norm above all norms.”  Pivotal statement by John.  If you understand this, then the rest will fall into place.

We trust that complementarianism makes sense of reality and can be satisfying to believing hearts.” God’s rules and authority are not for our torture.  They are for our good and His ultimate glory.  Jesus said in the gospels that His yoke was easy and His burden is light (Matthew 11:30).  If we are burdened or put-out by these rules and regulations as woman, then our hearts needs transformed by the gospel.  We all stand in need of redemption and sanctification.  Pray that the Spirit would sanctify and transform your heart as you see God’s bigger Truth and how it is completely satisfying.

Here is where we fail, where I fail, as pastors, ministry leaders, women’s leaders, wives, friends: we don’t know how to have a pastor’s heart in this area: a shepherd’s heart: like Jesus who was compassionate to us, knowing we are stupid like sheep and tend to wander away.  We need to have a more compassionate heart to meet women where they are, take their circumstances, and lovingly walk them to the gospel, show them the right ways of Jesus and the gospel and allow them to see that God has such a more glorious path for them to be on. 

This world is full of sin, abuse, neglect, pride, dysfunction – not at all the way the beauty of the original Creation was: walking in the Garden of Eden in perfect harmony with God.  We suffer broken marriages, poorly led churches, men who abuse the authority that God has given them.  My word of exhortation and edification: pray that God would soften your hearts to those who are in need of the truth of God.  These may be non-believers who need to surrender their hearts to God.  These may be women who do not yet see the beauty of God’s design for the home and church as He designed it.  Live life on life with these women (or men, life or life with other men), pulling them aside the gospel, praying that your life and God’s truth would be transformative in their lives. 

God has a Grand Design.  It is based in the gospel.  It is based on His character and not our situations.  He redeems.  He has purchased us.  He has made His plan known through the Bible.  Let’s share life with people, live in authentic community, and bear with our people.  May God use His sufficient and perfect word to transform our lives, hearts, churches, and homes.

For His Fame.

Much and Link Love (November 29)

posted in: Uncategorized | 0

Well, I don’t feel like November really happened – its already over. Gracious so much happened this month – but did anything? I feel like this month just kinda scooted by and here we are in the last month of 2010 and about to start 2011.
1. Loved wearing flannels during Thanksgiving dinner. Just my parents and I – so after running, the flannels came on. It was great. I did set the table real nice though.
2. It was good having my parents here, sad to see them leave, sort of a lonely feeling, don’t know quite how to explain it.
3. I do not relish the thought of going into another winter season single. Yes, I love being single, we all know that, but winter is somehow different: holiday parties, Christmas Eve and Day, New Years, birthday, valentines day. Just seems like it would be better with a significant other – but not worth settling.
4. More dreams coming true for people – love watching it. God is so gracious to us. He is the ultimate Dream fulfiller!
5. I ran an 8k. 64.21 – beating my previous time of an 8k by 3 minutes, but man, I gotta run more and get a run/walk split down that I can keep and practice and improve.
6. Doing some fun reading: Kitchen Confidential by Bourdain and Eat Pray Love by Gilbert. Good reads. And yes, I take notes even in fun reading.
7. Heard a line today in an Andrew Peterson song that went something like this: Your payment was more than all our lambs we sacrificed. We can never do enough to earn God’s love or salvation – it is all grace.

1. A friend of mine who is a pastor here in Raleigh wrote this about how to prepare for Sunday morning worship.
2. I need to make these since I now have a whole box of sweet potatoes to eat before they go bad, or I get sick of the box. Can’t wait to experiment. If you have any ideas – please pass them along!
3. I made these for Thanksgiving, very yummy. I have a few leftovers. Will be enjoying this week, too!
4. Do you have a love/hate relationship with your grocery store?
5. My friend, Dana, speaks on Christmas traditions in a Christian home. You will want to check back as this is a series…
6. My lovely and creative friend, Christine, made these to hang in their home. Art doesn’t have to be expensive.
7. Girls Gone Wise on single women using protection (read on to answer all your questions)…

Tedd Tripp Live: Parenting Teenagers

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Ah, the joy. I don’t know which was worse for my parents: parenting me when I was little or parenting me when I was a teenager. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to be a parent, but I hope I apply some of these truths now.

Session 3 – Teenagers
Who are teenagers are: insecure, vulnerable, unstable, apprehensive, tend to resist authority.
Common mistakes parents of teens make: spy, disengage, authoritarian vs influence, reckless words, majoring on minors. Do I want to be a person of influence in my teenagers life or do I want to be just seen as an authority figure. There is a difference. Reckless words wound like a sword… Words can be so destructive. The tongue of the wise brings healing.

Goals of teenagers: internalize the gospel, You are parents want your teenagers to embrace God’s truth as their own living faith. They are actually believing, living, acting on the beliefs of the gospel. Even if you walked away from the faith, they would continue to live on the Word of God. Use Scriptures in the life of your teenagers. God’s Word is invaluable, sufficient, God-breathed. The Spirit of God works through the Word of God in the teenager’s heart. Bring objective truth of the Scripture to your parenting of teenagers. God wrote those words. If your kids have a problem with it – they have a problem with God, not with you. You want to shepherd and nurturing your teens interaction with the truth of the Word of God. There is wisdom and vitality in the words of God.
Who is wise among you? James 3. Let them see it by your actions.

There will be periods of doubt in your teenagers. They will doubt. They will wrestle with issues of the faith. Do I believe this because I believe it or that I’ve always been taught this by my parents? They need to internalize their faith. They need to make the transference. You do not need to be surprised by this doubt, but work with your child through this, pray with your teenagers through this. Engage with them, interact with them, study, pursue them,
Ultimately, you want to develop relationships that leads to mutuality of adults under God. There is a difference how you will relate to your teenager once he is an adult. Proverbs 1:
1. The Fear of God. Show the greatness and excellence of God. Proverbs 1.7. He is more than our friend. He is God. We emphasize the familiarity of God and deemphasize his God-ness.
2. Do not forsake your parents teaching. Remind them that no one loves them as you do. Proverbs 1:8-9, Deut 6:4-9. Corrective disciplines are ways of life. Don’t see teenage rebellion is inevitable. Plead with your kids to not walk away. It is far too frequent, but not inevitable. The importance of maintaining this relationship is crucial. Parents and adults should not irrelevant in your youth ministry, churches, or your teenager’s relationships. Give your kids permission to tell you when you have hurt them. Be open with them. BE mindful of the gospel with them.
3. Disassociation from the wicked. The attraction of association with the wicked is camaraderie with a sense of belonging. Make home a great place to belong. Proverbs 1:10-19. Unless you are living in a cocoon some place, this will happen. There will be influences who are pulling on your kids heart – to lure them away from the gospel of God. Sin is so pretty. We need to help our children know how to pull away from those situations. Why would our kids be drawn to sin? US. Us is a key point of Prov 1. (I think of a recent Criminal Minds episode here). Attraction of belonging. We are dealing with desperate, sensitive, unstable teenagers. Any place they belong will be great. Make sure they belong and are welcome at home. You must engage them. They are looking to belong. Welcome their friends. Talk with their friends. Open your home. You’ll be amazed at how simple it is to engage teenagers. They crave belonging. It matters more than your carpet and your china. They will spill cokes and they will break your dishes. Which is more important? Your child’s heart or your dinnerware? It’s just stuff!

One Sydney Road

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You don’t have to live in Australia to shop in Australia (or just Ohio). One Sydney Road is now open for business. I’ve been following this girl’s story on Makeunder My Life and love seeing people follow a dream.
This is a great location for gifts, home interior, and anything else to make you feel pretty – or your home to look pretty and stylish.

Carolyn Mahaney on Effective Womanhood

posted in: Women | 3

GirlTalk has been an invaluable tool and resource for me over the years. I wanted to share this with you as a means of encouragement and discipleship and growth. You can see the whole blog here, but these are the 7 Habits of the Highly Effective Woman:
So with this in mind, I came up with a list of 7 Habits of the Highly Effective Woman (to borrow from the title of the bestselling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People). We will consider these 7 habits over the next few days. This list has evolved out of my years of personal study on this topic. It certainly is not an exhaustive list; however, I hope it will be helpful.

7 Habits of the Highly Effective Woman:
1. She rises early. (The 5am club. Shopping for Time. This is something I do well for seasons of time, then I get out of the habit – like many of these. But, this is a Biblical concept.)
2. She maintains the spiritual disciplines. (Again, I think some of these go in and out of season for me, but most are a pretty set part of my life now. What are some Spiritual Disciplines that you do? Two books which would be good here are Don Whitney’s and Richard Foster’s.)
3. She focuses on relational priorities for every season. (This is key for different seasons of life. I just had a conversation with a mom the other day about the importance of pouring into people at different times in life – making different relationships a priority.)
4. She sets up regular times for planning. (I had a great idea to do this at Caribou on Friday mornings at 7am – I thought of this before I moved to Raleigh – I need to be more diligent with it.)
5. She develops an effective to-do list system and calendar/planner system. (Well, my planner system is my phone, and my to-do list is usually in my head. It works well for me. Find what works best for you. As long as it works.)
6. She establishes an efficient routine for managing her home. (I need to work on this one. It doesn’t matter if I have a roomie or live by myself. I need to be a manager of my home. It isn’t going to naturally come into place if I ever have a real “home” of my own. How do you manage your home? What tips would you offer?)
7. She organizes her house systematically. (what does this look like? You can find further thoughts on the Girltalk Blog)

Redeeming the Time (Guest Post)

posted in: Women | 0

I don’t know of any woman (single, married, young, not as young, with kids, no kids) who will tell me that she is not busy. We have iPhones, calendars, outlook, post-it notes, etc to help keep us organized! Unfortunately, every day we live, most of us are just getting busier.

There are many Scriptures that tell us how to redeem our time – in every area of life. But, I want to concentrate on your time at home today.

There are a few books that have helped me see this reality a bit clearer: Girls Gone Wise, Shopping for Time, and The Gentle Ways of a Beautiful Woman. Of course there are more, but these three come to mind.

I want to live most of my life at home. Ok, yes, I work a full time job, in ministry, so that often means that it is well over 40 hours and even when at home I’m doing work for work. However, since i’ve been here, that has not been a reality for me. Some of the personal disciplines that I had in Louisville have not translated well to Raleigh living. Why – busy-ness and lack of strategical planning my day.

My friend Courtney wrote a fantastic blog post on her site about how the Spirit is sanctifying her in this area right now:

“Today has been a lazy day. And boy, do I like it! About a month or two ago a dear friend encouraged me to examine my schedule and cut things out that took me away from my husband and my home. As she wisely observed, I had begun to fill my evenings, and even my Saturdays, with a lot of other things that had very little to do with my husband. I had assumed that since he was studying I could just do whatever I wanted. He didn’t need me around, right? Well, what happened was these other things became overwhelming. Suddenly, I was just away from home too much, but I was exhausted and moody when I was home. Not good.”

To read the rest…go visit Courtney:

Here are a few exhortations from Scripture:

Prov 31.10, 15, 27: “An excellent wife, who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. She rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household and portions for her maiden. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

These commands and characteristics of the excellent wife (or excellent woman as Carolyn McCulley points out and illustrates in her book Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye) will look different depending on what life stage you are currently in. But, each of us must strive, in and through grace, to live these out. God has given us His Word to live out by the strength of His grace for his fame and glory in the world (or in our home, or to our friends, or our husbands).

May you be strengthened in His grace today!