Wanting and Having it All

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Guess you first have to define what you mean by all. 

This question was raised in my mind earlier this week when many FB folks were saying just dont’ try to aim to high or accomplish too much once baby is born – but I refuse to go quietly!  So, I began thinking.  Thinking mind you – not praying.  So, after I write my list I will need to pray about it and see if there is any clarity that God would make to it, but I’m excited about the possibilities.

Q: Can a wife and mother have it ALL?

A: Yes!

So, what is your all?

Here is mine: I want to put my relationship with God first, then my husband, then my son, then myself, then my home, then my ministry, etc (fun, hobbies)  So…how does that happen?

Some people want it all and think they can have a full time job outside of the home, be the amazing wife and mom, cook a gourmet meal, and keep a Pottery Barn/Southern Living home.  There are only so many hours in the day.  But, then, how do I intend to accomplish my all?  Two words: discipline and priority.

Let me define what I want to accomplish in those listed above and give some biblical reasons for discipline and priority.

God: having a quiet time every day, prayer journaling for my husband and son, reading

Husband: E has to be my top earthly relationship.  If not, everything else in the list falls apart.  That means spending time with him and making him a priority in my day. 

Son: I’m a little overwhelmed by this one as I start out – but God has created me to do this.  I will be baby’s main life support for the first few months.  So here goes something I know nothing about.

Me: Some people would consider this selfish – but I think if you don’t take care of yourself, you really aren’t that good to anyone else.  That means getting away a maybe a few hours a week for quiet time (without baby and husband) just to breathe.  That means exercising, showering, grooming yourself, etc.

Home: Ask E, my home is not on the top priority list right now, especially being 9+ months pregnant.  I shipped out all of this shirts to the cleaners because standing to iron them wore me out.  I cook a few times a week and we eat out more than I care to right now.  But, this is the one that will take the most discipline for me: cleaning, grocery shopping, setting up a new home (an apt for a few months), but I look forward to it!

Ministry: Writing, Teaching, discipling other women – that’s what I believe the ministry is that God has called me to.

Etc:  My etc is photography and traveling.  I love to do both – and I love to do both with my husband.  What a joy to journey this life together and enjoy multitasking with the one I love the most! 

So now, how do I accomplish all of that:

Discipline: So, maybe I can’t sleep as long or play Angry Birds until I win a round but something things are more important.  1 Corinthians 9:27 is a great verse for this.  In no way do I want to hinder the Gospel – and I think we as women can do that if we live our lives haphazardly or without any discipline.  This thought is sobering.

Priorities: You know what this means: You must learn to say NO!  What this means for me is multitasking and planning.  I need to actually stick with a schedule when I make it and multitask.  If I want to build a relationship with a woman in the church – then why don’t we do something together instead of just sitting there talking (like going on a walk, a photo shoot, learning to cook a meal together, etc).  That means getting up early.  This morning I was wide awake at 530a.  God is preparing my body for having a baby on his time schedule I assume! 🙂  What did I do: ate something (because I hungry) and then grabbed the ipad, then got back in bed.  What should I have done: resigned myself to the fact that I woke up early, ate something, had a QT, made my schedule for the day, cleaned some, showered, made bfast for the hubs, etc.  I could have been so much more productive.

One other thing about priorities and schedules that I learned from Carolyn Mahaney – is that if there is something you really want or feel like you need to do and life maybe relaly busy: ask your husband.  His role is to protect and love you – this means helping you say no sometimes.  And listen to him ladies!  If you are single: see if there is an accountability partner/couple that you can ask for insight into your schedule and help you maintain one that is doable.

Here is my word of caution for myself and you as my friends: GRACE.  My husband insisted that I send the dress shirts to thc cleaners.  I said no three times and finally caved.  Eating out is an option if I am pain to stand in the kitchen for more than 30 minutes.  There will be more mornings when my body is exhausted and I need to crawl back in bed.  Know that the Lord is  gracious.  He is good to those who call on Him and those who rest in Him.

Photo courtesy of Erica Soley Cooper Photography – journeying with my hubs!

  1. Amelia McNeilly

    Thanks for sharing this! It is a good reminder for me as a single person to make sure I keep my priorities the way God wants them to be and that my daily schedule is glorifying to Him. 🙂