This comes after a night of very little sleep for both me and the little mister. So, its just one of those days. But, even on one of those days, I must take every thought captive to the Risen Christ.
I have so many dreams. I won’t share them with you on here. Some of you know some, some are tucked very tightly in my brain and heart that not even my husband knows about them, I feel like sometimes if i tell them then none of it will happen and I’ll just look silly. Or unfulfilled. Or discontent.
As the Mister came home for lunch today , I had had a morning of an irritable crying 4 month old. For those who know the little mister, that is not typical, but when it happens I often don’t know what to do. I said to him in my I’m a great Mommy voice – Today is the day I don’t want to be a mommy.
Now before all of you Moms hate me or quit reading my blog or give me all this advice, know it was a moment of weakness and I was venting and crying to my husband, who completely understands that I wouldn’t trade the cute little mister for anything, but it was just a moment.
I told him that I was just trying to post a blog and he was fussy – though he was warm, fed, and clean. I finally got the blog published much later – as he finally went down for an afternoon nap.
As I was driving around Central Florida listening to Z88 (love the station) they read a verse – that we need to be “tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ Jesus forgave us.” I prayed right then that God would give me grace to be tenderhearted toward our sweet little boy. Tenderhearted because even when I throw temper tantrums at God He is tenderhearted toward me.
And then the song by Francesca Battistelli came on – Its Your Life – and these lyrics stood out to me: “Every day the choices you make, say what you are and who your heart beats for, its an open door, its your life.”
I know that I would never trade all the dreams in the world for one second of time with my little mister. So I pray that God would change my heart in a million ways to either fulfill those dreams in new ways, the same ways, or completely give me other dreams.
What do you do with your dreams?